Taking Creeper Photos of/with Strangers

Hello everybody!! Sorry for the month of not posting anything. School has been incredibly hectic with scenes and monologues to memorize. I got into one of the two productions that my school offers a semester, so I have to add those rehearsals into my busy schedule which means I will pretty much be dying from exhaustion for the next few weeks until my semester ends!

I see that someone from Canada read my post! Hello, Canadian!! I am fascinated that you say zed instead of z in the alphabet. Anyhow!! Two days ago was my friend's birthday. He turned nineteen and I wasn't home to hang out with him. Sad day. However, I will be able to see him in about a week when I am home for the holidays!! BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO BE FUCKING CHRISTMAS!!! Also, my birthday is in about two weeks, so that is exciting. Pretty awesome really. My best friend's name is David as well and we are both born in December. Fucking rocks. Last year, he got me a flamingo Beany Baby!

HIS NAME IS PINKY!!! 

There is some emotional connection to said flamingos and Beany Babies. When I was younger, I had a flamingo B.B. and we were the best of friends. That was until my mom threw him away for some random circumstances. I was horrified when I could not find him and went to my mother to ask where he had gone. She replied with, "I don't know" (the lying woman!!!) and I walked away with a heartbreaking, "Oh... Okay..." while I cried silently. I was only four! WHAT THE FUCK!? My mom also decapitated my brother's binky that year... Anyway! He got me this in loving memory of Previous Pinky. Also, I like the color pink. Not those pansy-ass flowery pinks. Those colors are for men with self-esteem issues.

Enough about Pinky, I am going to share a wonderful story about my dear friends, Dayana, Lindsey, Mia, and Sergio. This is about our many adventures taking photos with random ass strangers and photo bombing while we were waiting to attend one of our school's productions. Please Note: We were unable to attend that night because they ran out of seating so we all went to Popeye's Chicken and I got yelled at by a hobo. Also, if you are homeless and you ask Sergio for chicken and you say "please", he will buy you chicken.

So, we were all in line to see the show and I realized that I had my camera and asked my friends if they wanted to play games with it. They said yes. First, we played, "Scream Loudly and Take Pictures of People Turning Around to See What the Noise Was":

This one was the best. 

We snapped the photo too early, but she looks like
the French Fry is telling her something very interesting...

Then we played, "Find People and Take a Picture With Them While They are Still Shocked You Asked Them to Take a Picture With Them". This is what we got:

This one was by far the best of them all!

Yes, Sergio is eating her hair... 

The girl in the red had no idea that Sergio and Lindsey
were behind her. She was legit for smiling though!

Finally, we just started taking photos of people without their knowledge. However, my camera shines this red light before taking a photo, so most people realized I was taking a photo and looked at me before the flash.

Kudos to Jon for smiling! 

The faces in this photo are just... too priceless to describe... Also! This lady had this on her jacket sleeve! I took this photo while she was distracted.

Unicorns are the shit.

- More absorbent than the regular brand.

David

Flash Mobs That Could Get You Arrested

DAMN!! People from Russia are starting to read my posts?! Привет русских мужчин и женщин! I got that from Google translate, so if it says anything other than, "Hello Russian men and women", then it is Google's fault. So, I'm still bored and thought of several different ways to get arrested for doing a flash mob and I thought I could share it all with you.

1. Passing Out as a Group Mob - Imagine walking through a crowded room of people, just casually texting on your phone to your girlfriend about something that you saw on The X Factor last night. Nothing is out of the ordinary until you hear a large echoing thudding noise. You look up and the room is no longer crowded. Confused as fuck, you begin to look around and notice that EVERYONE is lying on the floor. Some people have their eyes open, others have their tongues hanging out, and several others are giggling because they can't pull pranks very well. You'd be completely panicked (if you don't notice people giggling) and would probably call 911, thinking that some strange disease was killing everybody. Of course, once someone said it was a prank, you'd be pissed and probably attempt to kill a few people and have the ambulance and police arrive. It just wouldn't look pretty.
2. Pretending to get Sick Mob - This one would be fairly easy to pull off. What you need is a bunch of people willing to vomit on cue. Or not, if you don't want to be authentic. I guess you could just have people choking and spitting and crying and screaming, "WHAT IS HAPPENING!?". All you need to do is have a large group of people go to the same restaurant and order food and eat a normal meal for about thirty or forty minutes. Then, slowly, have one person pretend to get sick... then another... then another... Continue to do think until the entire restaurant is in complete chaos and there are normal people screaming and crying and praying to whichever god they believe in. This would be extremely hard to pull off and escape without getting arrested or sent to the hospital. You might also have a lawsuit against you. 
3. Dressing up as Zombies and Attacking People Mob - This one is my favorite! Think about a little girl eating an ice cream cone, enjoying a nice evening with her parents in the park. She's laughing enjoying her sweet time as a childhood, completely oblivious to the dangers of the dreaded zombie flash mob. She turns to look at her parents and sees a bloodied, rotting, group of zombie beings lumbering through the park, chasing after people and attacking them. She screams, not aware that this will only bring the zombies closer to her and her parents. She drops her ice cream and clings to her mother, but the pulls of the zombies are too strong and her two beloved parents are dragged into the horde. The little girl watches in horror as her parents disappear from view and she is left. Scarred for life. No. This cannot happen on Halloween, Friday the 13th, or April Fool's Day. This has to happen completely unannounced. I would suggest not actually biting people or getting brutal. You would have a lot of lawsuits against you and when the police arrive, you don't want to be shot with a gun or tazer. Stupid spell check... Doesn't recognize the word tazer... I hope it's spelled correctly...
4. Naked Mob - This is basically what it says. There are no requirements. Literally. You just can't do it on a nude beach or it makes no fucking sense... May I suggest a preschool, wedding, half-marathon, retirement facility, or funeral? 
5. Justin Bieber Baby Mama Drama Mob - This one is a bit fucked up. We all have heard about this whole situation with Justin Bieber and that strange ass lady who claims that she conceived a child with... a child. Still think that she is full of shit... We'll find out later, won't we!? Yay!! Okay. You just need a lot of different teenagers (girls would be advised), from different areas (optional). First, attend a Justin Bieber concert. I know, this would probably be a lot of torture, but just do it. Now, get pregnant. This will take about 9 months to prepare; 8 months if you prefer a smaller child. After the baby has been born, you must report to any authorities or newspapers that you have been impregnated with Justin Bieber's semen. Yes, supposingly, he can produce semen. This could potentially ruin his career, but would make for a fun laugh! Lawsuits are a consequence. 
6. Pretending to be Store Products Mob - Basically, all you have to do it hide behind products stacked on shelves or in those clothes racks. Many different things can happen once you have a large group of people hiding throughout the store. You can either, a) cry out, "BUY ME!!" repetitively, b) shake the shelf or rack to simulate an earthquake, c) pop out and scare people while they are shopping, or d) demand equal rights and lower prices. You could potentially get banned from the store. Wal-Mart would be the best place to participate. 
7. Sex Mob - Also known as a public orgy. Lawsuits and arrests are guaranteed. Recommending people above the age of eighteen.
8. Going on a Pokemon Journey Mob - Dress up as Ash, Misty, or Brock. Grab a lot of large bouncy balls and paint them like Pokeballs. Go around pointing and screaming at people, "OH MY GOSH, IT'S A POKEMON!!". Throw your balls at them. It's either prostitution or assault. Either way, jail time! Yay!!

Enjoy flash mobbing!!

- David E. Stolworthy